Before you become a parent you hear a few rumours of what it's about. People tell you that you probably won't sleep for more than a few hours in a row for the first couple months. You expect and accept this. What they don't tell you, however, is that in actual fact you will never sleep again, not ever. It starts in pregnancy, other parents may not tell you this but for the last three months of your pregnancy you will not sleep. It is suppose to be your last chance to catch up on sleep before the baby comes, you may even be off work like I was and be looking forward to all this extra sleep. Well I was lucky to get three consecutive hours. You are nervous, uncomfortable and hot (especially if you give birth in August). So you embark on this whole baby project exhausted from the get go.
Next, they say that hospital visiting hours are limited to a few hours in the afternoon and a few after supper. Let me tell you that no one will respect these hours. I am pretty sure everyone I ever met came through my room that first day at all hours. I know you all mean well, my friends but I just pushed a baby from my body, please leave! Now I am going to give you a very valuable piece of parenting advice, if you listen to nothing else listen to this: when the nurse offers to take the baby out of your room and wake you up just for feedings the first night, for the love of god take her up on it!!! She isn't doing it to be nice, its her job. In fact if anyone, ever, offers to take the baby and let you sleep take them up on it. I don't care if it is the in-laws or a hobo in the park, give them the baby!!! I tried to act tough, wanted to prove to myself and them that I could do this. I am and IDIOT!
Now comes the part you expected. Breast feeding every two hours (if you are lucky) all night long. Feeling like you could barf, pass out or both every minute of every day. Now I know it is cliché but the best piece of advice I can give you is to sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't worry about getting anything else done. You don't need to cook, cereal will become a main meal at this time and family will fill in the rest. If you are anything like me the house will already be very neat from all the late night cleaning sessions you had before the baby arrived so really the only reason your butt should ever leave the sofa is to pee or change the baby's diaper (even this should be passed on to others).
The other part those tricky veteran moms don't tell you is that even after your baby starts sleeping through the night (yupee!!) you still will not get any sleep. Sure Finn sleeps 10-11 hours at night but that means nothing. He is in bed by 7:30 and as much as I would like to I simply cannot fall asleep till 11 if I am lucky and then he will usually wake up once or twice a night simply to yell a few times, wake me up, then go back to sleep. I could't tell you why he does this only that I am not a fan!! Then of course he is up bright and early the next morning. Now I was never one to lounge around in bed all morning. School and my part time jobs usually required me to get up and about early enough (I had one job that started at 5am!). During this time, though I always had weekends or the occasional day off in which to sleep in. Those days are gone, and as far as I can tell they are never coming back. I have not slept in in 16 months. I am now told that I probably won't get that chance for quite a few years to come. Add a wonderful job working nights and I really do miss sleep. Just once it would be nice not to wake up in the morning to a screaming child. But alas it is not to be, at least not till he is old enough to go downstairs, turn in the TV and get himself breakfast, how old is that anyway?
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