Cheerio Nation

               Before having kids I bought the odd box of cheerios. I had them for breakfast once and a while. Since the baby, though, cheerios have become a staple in our house. They make the perfect snack, whether on the go or not, no mess, little clean up and healthy(ish). I was not prepared, however, for cheerios to take over my life. You can always find a box of cheerios in our pantry (usually 2 or 3). But what you can also find are cheerios everywhere else. If you were to inspect our vehicles you would probably find enough cheerios to feed a small army. Similarly, if you were to check under the couch, in corners or any nook or crevice you would probably find more cheerios. I don’t know how they manage to find their way everywhere (well I have an inkling it might be small and blond) but they do, regardless of my efforts to sweep them away.

On the plus side Finn has an amazing talent of scoping these cheerios out. If he needs a snack, he will find some cheerios. It kind of reminds me of a blood hound sniffing out its target. I will find him sitting, eating something in the middle of the floor, which is always dangerous, and when I ask him to spit out whatever it is, more often than not, it is, you guessed it, a cheerio! 
I love how cheerio’s continue to come up with more and more flavours. Finn’s favourite is banana nut, mine is chocolate and of course good old honey nut. I do like cheerios I just wish they weren’t all over my house and car. Hmm, I wonder if that’s why we have mice?

                PS. This was not a paid advertisement for cheerios or cheerio products.

The World According to Finnegan

           Hello. My name is Finnegan. I am 15 months old. My number one favourite thing in the whole world (after mommy and daddy of course) is my blankie. I’ve had it since before I was even born and sleep with it every night.  My number two favourite thing is my dog dog. I think her name might be Miley but to me she is dog dog. I love to play with her and chase her and eat her toys. Let me tell you a little bit more about me and my family.
        
               I live with my mommy and daddy in a tiny farming community in rural Quebec.  My daddy is Chris, he does security at a school for little boys and girls who get into trouble. He also has a workshop and when I’m big enough, he said I can help him build things.  My mommy is Jessi. She takes care of sick people so that definitely comes in handy when I don’t feel well. She also goes to school, I can’t wait to be big enough to go to school and play with the other boys and girls and learn to read and write and speak French. My mommy and daddy met in high school.  They got married and had me when they were very young, only twenty-three.

 When both my parents are working my aunt looks after me. She has two little boys and we have lots of fun playing together on the farm. I don’t have any little brothers or sisters to play with at home and mommy said it’s going to stay that way. I do get lonely sometimes but it does mean I get all mommy and daddy’s attention to myself! (And all the cookies!)

          We live in a very old house. Mommy and daddy bought it before I came along and are fixing it up themselves. They got my room ready just in time for me to be born. I got inpatient and snuck out a few weeks early so I almost didn’t have a room at all! They still have a lot of work to do before it’s finished but that just means I get to help out, and I love using tools.

           As you can see our life is very hectic but we make it through alright. If you want to hear more about me and our family you should read my mommy’s blog. As you can guess by the title, I am the star. She shares all my adventures, trials and tribulations with our friends and family. I do wish she would keep my little mishaps to herself though; some of them can be downright embarrassing.

Common mom, that picture is so embarrassing!

The 5 Things I Let Finn Do Even Though I Probably Shouldn't (but I think he is all the better for it)

Wow long tittle. There are a few things that I allow Finn to do that most parents probably don't. This being said,, I think he is better toddler and will be a better person because of them.

1. Let the dog eat food from inside his mouth.
     I know this one grosses me out to no end. And well I don't actually ''let'' him do this he does it anyway. What I do let him do is be around his dog. He plays with his dog and pets his dog and has been since he was big enough to chase after her on all fours. He loves his dog and all dogs for that matter.  In fact his first word besides mama and dada was dog dog. Miley has mixed feelings on the whole thing. I am glad my son will not be one of those children who are afraid of dogs or other animals. In my experience it is the children who are afraid of dogs and don't know how to act around them who get bitten, not those that love dogs. Not to mention, that odds are, since he has been around his dog dog since he was born he will probably not be allergic to them later on. So while most parents may keep their newborns and babies away from dogs I embrace man's best friends (even if I don't approve of the eating out of the mouth thing which Finn finds great fun).

2. I let Finn play on the stairs.
      Now before you call children's aid I do supervise (usually). Finn loves the stairs, if we leave the gate unlocked he would climb up and down those suckers all day. And there is the key. Finn could climb stairs before he could walk and has recently mastered the art of descending stairs. At a restaurant recently Finn was playing on the stairs leading to the washrooms where we met another mother who had a child about the same age as Finn. She was amazed that Finn could go up and down the stairs without help. Now let me tell you why this comes in handy. If we are at someone else's house or out somewhere that doesn't have gated stairs I don't have to constantly keep an eye on Finn thinking he will fall down said stairs. I know he knows how to handle himself on stairs and won't require more than the normal level of surveillance. Of course he has had a few minor mishaps, but I mean who doesn't fall down the stairs occasionally? (or is that just me?)

3. I let him wander the house without a diaper.
       We do have the benefit of not having carpet in the house, so that helps. But when dad is not home (cause dad doesn't approve), I let him do some strip tease and prance around naked. Can you imagine having a diaper on 24/7? Must feel great to get some breathing room now and again. And you know what? He very rarely has an accident when I take his diaper off. So while I know it is a little early for potty training, I do have my sites, perhaps optimistically, set on next summer and I think this can only help. No diapers at all at home next summer and hopefully be ready to be rid of them for good when fall comes!

4. I let him play on our un-railed deck and the kitchen table.
        This is kind of along the same lines as the stairs thing. I allow Finn to learn about heights. I am not gonna lie, he has taken a couple spills off the deck but for the most part knows where the edge is and how not to fall off. So like with the stairs, I can have confidence in knowing Finn (probably) won't go off the edge of something. (Luckily he has never fallen off the table, I don't really like him up there but I can't keep him off sometimes. He is kinda stubborn like his mama).

5. I let Finn play with his books.
      I know most parents would keep books away from uber destructive babies but Finn has full access to most of his. A few of them have been destroyed, a few of them have seen better days, but for the most part they aren't bad. And the upside, Finn loves to be read to. He will bring us book after book to read to him (over and over and over again). He settles in our lap and listens intently and even loves to flip the pages. I really hope that Finn grows up to be a reader like me. There really aren't enough readers in this internet/smart phone age. I do think that Finn is well on his way to becoming one by constantly being surrounded by his books, the fact that we don't have TV probably helps to. PS. If you are looking for a christmas present for Finn books, especially board books are a great choice, because honestly if I have to read Goodnight Moon or Mortimer one more time I may have to kill myself!!

What about you? What do you allow your kids to do that they probably shouldn't be doing??

Harsh does of reality

Dear friend and family,
      Last night my husband maliciously compared me to my mother-in-law. She is a very nice lady, but those of you who know her can guess that this probably wasn't a compliment. After recovering from this insult I saw where he was coming from and decided I should set the record straight. First a little background information. When Chris and I started dating I used to hate going to his families house for dinner because his mother would have to clean meticulously for days and prepare and twelve course meal every time I came over. This was very intimidating and made me feel like I was putting her out every time. Last night Chris accused me of doing the same thing whenever I have people over. So my friends, if I have made you feel this way, I apologize. The only thing is, is that I genuinely enjoy doing it. It isn't work for me, it's more like a hobby, and as you know I have very few. I take pleasure in parousing my food network magazines, picking out a menu, setting a table. My only regret is that I don't own fancy linen and dishes, maybe some day. Chris said I make you all feel bad that you may not reciprocate with something as elaborate, please don't! I want to be around you for the company, not a meal that took you 3 days to prepare and stressed you out. I love to cook for people. I think in my last life I may have been a wife of some rich business man where my sole job was putting on dinner parties for him. That or some fat Italian grandmother. If it's not your cup of tea then let us eat pizza!  As Kate-Lynn said '' Jessi is the housewife'' and it's true, even if not in the literal sense of the word (although now that I work from home maybe I could be?). So please my friends, come, eat, talk and laugh with me and let momma feed you (try the last line with an Italian accent)

Big Shoes to Fill

I had a terrifying thought recently. It is my job to teach Finnegan everything. This seems like an impossible feat. How can I possibly teach him everything? There is so much to know. This thought struck me the other day during a new game we play with Finn, ''show me your belly button'' where, as the name suggests, Finnegan shows us his belly button. This took weeks to learn. We have started ''show me your nose'' to which Finn shows us his belly button. There are a lot of body parts. Times 2-3 weeks to learn each one and well you do the math. Now imagine all the things that he needs to learn, numbers, letters, animals (all in 2 languages may I add), how to react in any given situation, the list seems endless. I know that others will pitch in, friends, family, teachers, but ultimately the responsibility is mine. Sit back for a minute and think about everything you know. Everything you have ever heard, the thousands (well maybe hundreds) of words you know, all the people you know, all the feelings you have. All of this knowledge needs to be passed on to my son in what seems like an impossibly short period of time. On a shorter scale I need only to look at my nephew who is not quite three. He speaks quite eloquently, knows how to conduct himself, how to use a spoon, how to use the potty. Finnegan will be in his spot in about 18 months and even this seems like an incredibly daunting task. How can such a little boy, one who now opens his mouth to let the dog eat out of it (I know ew, don't get me started), learn so much in such a short time? I just wish I had the capabilities to learn that quickly, would make getting this pesky bachelors degree a lot easier...

We did it

Well, my friends, Finnegan and I have done it. He has not breast fed in over a week. My tiny baby boy is no longer breastfeeding. I have to admit though, even if I am a tad nostalgic about it I am actually pretty happy. My boobs are mine again! No more blood, no more stretching out my bras, no longer solely my responsibility to put him to bed at night, although I still do 99.9% of the time. I have been putting this off for weeks, then I contracted a minor undisclosed ailment that required medication, that wasn't recommended during breast feeding, so that sealed the deal. Finnegan fussed a little more than usual the first two days I put him to bed without it  but I was quickly forgotten and swept under the matt and now he doesn't seem to notice. This does of course upset me. Happy that it's over, and sad that it's over, thus is the never ending plight of motherhood.

Ode to Steve Jobs

''Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.'' -Steve Jobs 2005

The world lost another great man this week. And whether you love Apple or hate it (and are therefore crazy) there is no denying the impact this man has had on todays technology. I have heard him described as the Edison or Einstein of our generation and I think that is spot on. He has changed the world as we know it and he did it all with grace, dignity and pizzaz. If you haven't heard his Stanford University speech, check it on on youtube. It is truly inspirational. The way our children view technology and animation will have been largely shaped by this man.  He made computer geeks cool.

I love everything about Apple. I was a groupie before it was cool. The first computer I bought was an old Apple clam shell laptop and I loved it. Unfortunately it was about a hundred years old when I bought it so it wasn't around for long but I now use a mac mini. I had an original iPod in bright pink, I have since upgraded a few times and now sport the iPhone 4 and quite frankly would probably cry if forced to give it up. Those of you who aren't on the Apple band wagon I would really like to know why. It is user friendly, I am pretty lost when it comes to computers but am able to work my way around my mac (usually). They last forever (well I do warn you they aren't baby proof, but really what is?) and lets face it they also look cool. I fell in love with Apple in a high school media class and haven't looked back. 

Steve's death will no doubt be a huge blow to the company. I hope that new minds are able to step up and take over where he is left off and continue to produce ground breaking new advances in the world of technology.

Love what you do, live every day to the fullest, and make yourself proud. These are the words he has tried to instil on people. These are words we should all live by and teach our children to live by. 

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me…Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful…that's what matters to me." (Steve Jobs, 1993)

Read more: http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/TopStories/20111006/steve-jobs-quotes-111006/#ixzz1a9EVVT3r

Weaning Woes: warning contains graphic content

I am a die hard advocate for breast feeding. In this house formula was a bad word. Except in a few rare circumstances I don't believe that formula should ever be used. This may be unpopular, but I find it downright selfish to not breastfeed, at least until 6 months, unless there are medical reasons why you cannot. I know that it is hard, I suffered through my share of bloody nipples and mastitis but it is part of being a mom. Anyway, I digress. When I had Finn I intended to breastfeed to about 18 months, supplementing with whole milk at 11 months. Little did I know I would end up with a son completely uninterested in breast feeding. I have read stories about children screaming and crying as there moms tried to wean them. Finn on the other hand could take it or leave it. At around 12 months I diminished his feedings to twice daily, he didn't seem to notice or care. This is the schedule I intended to keep till I was ready to wean (note the ''I''). However in recent weeks something has changed. I don't know what Finn is doing differently but his breastfeeding sessions have left my poor nipples bloody and pusy (I did warn that there would be graphic content). It is almost worse than the first few weeks. Every session leaves me wincing in pain. Now it is one thing to tough through this for a newborn but seems kind of ridiculous to submit myself to this for a 14month old. So I have eliminated the morning feeding, again Finn neither noticed nor cared. I, however, cannot seem to let go of our bedtime feeding session. I know Finn probably won't miss it. I am left in pain each time he feeds yet I don't feel that I am ready to say goodbye to this aspect of parenting yet. It really feels like the difference between baby and toddler to me and I can't picture my son as a toddler, even though he is now walking and talking, it seems like yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital. I know it has to come to an end, soon, but a few more weeks can't hurt, right?

Is this normal?

My son gave me a bloody nose today, again. Yes this is the third one so far, Chris has also succumbed to a few. Now if my son were a teen or a tween this would make an excellent show for Dr. Phil. We would go on, he would discuss control issues blah, blah, blah. However, Finnegan is a mere 14 months old, he none the less derives great pleasure from beating up the members of our household. Now I know boys can be a little rough but if I fear my son now, how will things be when he is bigger than me? (I am putting that at about 8 years old since I am 5'1'' and Chris is 6'2'') If we are on the floor with him he greatly enjoys slapping, scratching, kicking, nose and eye gabs and hair pulling. Even while I breast feed him, which is suppose to be a quiet activity, Finn has taken to pinching my underarm. He chases the dog around the house with his push kart and hitting her is followed my squeals of glee. Why do I have such a sadistic son? where is he learning this from? Neither Chris nor I are ultimate fighters, we don't take him to watch cock fights, we don't even have a TV! (No I am not a super mom, just poor.) Whats more troubling is that anything can become a weapon. Anything long instantly becomes and sword and anything small enough to be thrown could be flying at my head at anytime. I am quite concerned at what kind of man this violent little boy may become. And to all of you who are heckling me for more kids, just imagine what Finn would do to them!!

The Origins of Blankie

When I was young I had a bear. I drug that bear everywhere with me for years. Chris, though, was a blankie man. He had a blankie that had been patched beyond repair and barely resembled its former self. Finnegan has decided he will be a blankie man as well. He loves that blankie. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.

It was a rainy day in late June 2010. I was hugely pregnant and deep into the nesting phase. I had already been off work for almost two months so the house was meticulously clean and organized, the nursery painted and I was bored. Throughout my pregnancy I had the overwhelming urge to make things for the baby. I wanted to knit him hats and socks and sew him little outfits and build him toys. The only problem was that I don't knit, I'm not handy and my sewing skills are rudimentary at best. Still I decided I would make Finn a quilt. I picked out some black and white fabric to match the nursery (in hindsight white may not have been the best choice, but it was meant to be decoration) and with my mom's help and her sewing machine I set out sewing dozens of tiny squares together in an intricate pattern (ok maybe it wasn't that intricate). I was adamant though that I would do all the actual quilting by hand. I bought a bright pink quilting ring and went at it. It took many many hours, there were several crooked lines but in the end it turned out not bad. I was pretty proud.

When Finn was a few weeks old and had started sleeping in his crib I used it to keep him warm at night. Now please don't call the parenting police, I know you aren't suppose to put blankets in with the baby but I felt to bad leaving him all uncovered. Blankie became part of everyday bed time routine, and well the rest is history. Now blankie is the best parenting tool there is. Finn will sleep anywhere, can be put to bed by anyone as long as he has blankie. Just seeing it invokes the thumb in month ready for bed pose. He spends his day trying to climb the stairs or escape the play room in order to get to his blankie. Because you see, as a general rule, blankie is reserved for bedtime or naps only so as not to loose its magic. People congratulate me on what a good sleeper Finn is and I humbly take their praises. In reality though I think it has more to do with blankie then with anything I have done.

Blankie has been there through teething, colds, long drives and our recent ER visit. As cliche and corny as it may sound I like to think that Finn feels all the love and effort I put into this blanket in preparing for his arrival. I definitely did not anticipate that he would form such a strong bond with it. The only problem with blankie is that, of course, he is one of a kind. I know most parents go out and buy replacement stuffed animals or blankets in case something happens and they are lost or damaged, but there is no replacement blankie. I don' even want to think about what would happen if blankie were lost. So I would like to end by saying thank-you blankie for all you have done and please please please be with us for a long time to come.

E.R. Visit act 1

I must begin by saying that parents of sick children deserve a nobel prize or lottery jackpot or possibly both. I spent fifteen hours in emergency last night and they were definitely among the worst fifteen hours of my life. I can't imagine what parents of chronically sick children, especially babies must go through. So this may not be a harrowing tale but it is our story.

Scene 1: To go or not to go, that is the question
You may think that for a nurse this would be an easy decision, it is my job after all. However, my area of expertise is geriatrics, so not very relevant, and also it is very difficult to be objective when dealing with your own child. So I pondered this question all afternoon as the number of diarrheas he had (sorry to be graphic) rose steadily  from five to ten to fifteen. I told myself that he had had his vaccines a few days ago and that this was just a side effect. I became a lot more concerned when his bowel movements started to show traces of blood and mucous (again sorry for the details) just before supper time. I was suppose to work that night so I considered taking him to the clinic in the morning. I put him on the sofa while I made supper. Now anyone who knows my son knows that he cannot stay still for more that 3 seconds at a time. He laid quietly with his blankie for twenty minutes on the sofa. I was starting to be concerned so I decided to call Info-Santé and let them make the decision for me, it is there job after all. The nurse I spoke to was adamant that I take him to the E.R right away, so I put away supper, uneaten, called in sick to work (which I can ill afford to do), packed a diaper bag and we were off.

Scene 2 Patients is a virtue
I decided to go to the hospital that was closest to our house and to Chris' work so he could meet us there after his shift. That was my first mistake. They are renowned for their long wait times but I figured that with a baby we would get in quick enough. So we got there around 7:00pm. We saw the triage nurse who took his temperature, it was 39.8, very respectable. My thermometer at home read 36.7 (note to self: buy new thermometer). He was given tylenol and shipped out to the noisy and very brightly lit waiting room. I was lucky and he was being fairly good, sitting on my lap, not squirming to much but not falling asleep. At 9:00 his temperature was taken again, 37.8,  and he was returned to the waiting room. By now the tylenol had taken effect and he really wanted down to crawl around. I tried to reason with him, telling him the floor of the ER was not somewhere he wanted his hands to be, but he wasn't having it. So we waited and waited and waited somewhere around 10:15 he started to doze and fell asleep for about half an hour but was woken up as I tried to move because of an intolerable pain in my back. Chris arrived around 12:15 taking some of the burden of my back and we continued to wait, baby refusing to sleep. Finally, FINALLY at 1:30am, 6 1/2 hours after I arrived we were called in, in front of many people who had been waiting much longer (I did not make friends that night).

Scene 3 Shock and awe

The Doctor came and spent a grand total of 90 seconds with Finnegan. She quickly declared that he would spend the night, receive IV fluids, get blood tests and a lung x-ray (because of the cold he also had) and left the room. We were speechless. I must admit this is not what I expected. I was expecting something along the lines of ''give him pedialyte and if he isn't keeping anything down in the next few days or if his fever returns, come back.''  A few minutes later two nurses came in to put in Finn's IV. This, for me, had to be the worst part. Holding him down while they stuck him with the needle and he let out a god awful scream, was horrible. I wanted to cry. I held it together though and luckily the nurse was good and only needed the one try to get his blood and insert the IV. We were then quickly whisked of to radiology where I had to again restrain my poor dear boy who was so tired and confused by this point. You could see the ''why are you doing this to me mommy?"  look in his eyes. We were then settled in a bed and bassinet in observation bed 7 (lucky number 7!) By this time is was approaching 3:30am. It took a lot of coaxing but I managed to convince Finn to go to sleep. He slept fitfully on and off through beeping  IV machines and the constant hum of the ER. He woke up around 6 and I brought him into bed with me and we cuddled and played, and occasionally cried (him or me, it was unclear by this point) until 9am. We did not see another Dr till 9am. He also whisked in quickly, informed us that the blood work was ok, that Finn should eat and if he didn't throw up we could go home. So Finn ate a solid breakfast, I had the left overs (bear in mind we had not eaten since lunch the day before) and it seemed to go ok so after removing his IV we were on our way.

Scene 4 All is well that ends well
We got home around 11:30am and we all took a good long nap, had a good solid lunch and I think we are all on the mend. Finn had 5 or 6 diarrhea today but he was pushing his kart around the floor this afternoon so I think he is improving. With a very active little boy I am sure this is just the first of many trips to the emergency room on this crazy adventure of ours but I keep my fingers crossed that it will be the longest.

Now my friends, it is 9pm and I am more than ready for a nice long bath followed by bed.

PS I would like to sincerely thank blankie for all his help and support through this endeavour. Without you this would not have been possible.

The Joys of Snot

Last year Finn and I managed to escape cold and flu season relatively unscathed, due, no doubted,  to the fact that our grand total of excursions outside the house was our weekly groceries. This year, however we are not so lucky. It is only September and Finn has managed to contract a cold already. I suppose all the dirt eating hasn't worked as well as I had hoped (see the Truth about dirt). It is astounding the shear quantity of snot his tiny button nose can produce. No kleenex can keep pace. No matter what I do there always seems to be two long trails running down his face, or my personal favourite, the snot bubble. The giant billboard warning other parents to keep their children as far away from mine as possible. Snot just seems to be everywhere, in his food (or mine as he takes a bite), on his hands (which then go in his mouth), even on my sleeve (what can I say, there were no kleenex handy). And if a stuffy nose weren't bad enough, the only way my son has to sooth himself is by sucking his thumb, which is made impossibly difficult with a plugged nose. I am a big fan of saline nose sprays to try and loosen things up. Finn though is decidedly against them. Anyone who is walking down the street while I attempt to administer the spray is undoubtedly imagining the horrors I am inflicting on my child as his shrill screams fill the house. So in the end, all we really can do is suck it up, brave through a few sleepless nights and, well, a good dose of Tylenol never hurt anyone (or whiskey, we'll see how things go).

What the Vegetable!?

I am a huge foodie. Before we got rid of our TV,  I would have it constantly tuned onto the food network. So, needless to say, I was thrilled to find out my son would eat anything, and I mean ANYTHING. I have pictures of this boy eating my mussel brochetta with roasted asparagus. He loved raw zucchini, fish, curried anything and fruit fruit and more fruit. The only thing he didn't love was fried things like chicken nuggets and french fries. I thought I had hit the culinary jackpot. 

Then, a few weeks ago, it all came crashing down. Your highness has decided to be very selective about what goes in his mouth. Peaches used to be one of his favourites but recently he has been rejecting them. He would eat his entire  plate with little concern as to what he was actually eating, now he picks through and eats what he wants and leaves the rest. And more often then not ''the rest'' includes vegetables while ''what he wants'' is bread and pasta. Also, there is no way of predicting what will be a hit and what will be a miss. One day will be all about cheese, can't get enough cheese. The next day he won't touch the stuff and gold fishies will be the food of choice.

I guess my good fortune couldn't last forever and this all a part of raising a toddler. Hopefully this is just another one of many strange and baffling stages my dear son will grow through on this crazy adventure of ours. 

Daycare Drama

If I had the choice between being a stay at home mom or a working mom I would stay home with my little boy hands down. Unfortunately, if we hope to live in the comfortable manor in which we have become accustomed that isn't really an option. So, with this decision, I began my hunt for someone to watch Finn. If only I knew what I was in for. A public daycare was out of the question, since you have to put your name on a waiting list in junior high to have a hope of getting in. So armed with a list of in home daycares I started my calls.

The first lady I spoke with told me all about her beautiful house, large backyard... on a lake. All I pictured then was my son drowning while she was preoccupied with someone else's toddler. Her name was crossed of the list.

Next call was another woman. She told me all about her daycare. Proudly claimed that she had been doing this for over 30 (!!) years. Now quickly doing the math in my head, that would make her about 55 years old. Now I am 24 and have trouble keeping up with one toddler, how in the world is she suppose to take care of six? Another name off the list.

Next daycare I called was a husband wife duo. This may be sexist, but no man is looking after my kid. Now, in a large public daycare facility I would have no problem with a male educator but nowadays there are to many horror stories on the news and a wife would have no problem covering something up. So yet another name crossed of the list.

The final blow came when I found out a girl I went to high school with, whom I wouldn't trust to watch my goldfish, had opened her own in home daycare. If she was allowed to watch other peoples kids I could end up with ANYONE watching mine.

Things were looking pretty glum. Finally, I was so lucky to convince my sister-in-law to watch Finn. She is a stay at home mom with two small children of her own, and it has proved to be the perfect scenario for us. Flexible hours, which is nice because both my husband and I work crazy shifts. People I know I can trust. Other kids for Finn to play with and best of all a private babysitter for the price of daycare, what more can you ask for! I just hope she doesn't decided to go out and get a better paying job!!

So F*%$ing tired!

Before you become a parent you hear a few rumours of what it's about. People tell you that you probably won't sleep for more than a few hours in a row for the first couple months. You expect and accept this. What they don't tell you, however, is that in actual fact you will never sleep again, not ever. It starts in pregnancy, other parents may not tell you this but for the last three months of your pregnancy you will not sleep. It is suppose to be your last chance to catch up on sleep before the baby comes, you may even be off work like I was and be looking forward to all this extra sleep. Well I was lucky to get three consecutive hours. You are nervous, uncomfortable and hot (especially if you give birth in August). So you embark on this whole baby project exhausted from the get go.

Next, they say that hospital visiting hours are limited to a few hours in the afternoon and a few after supper. Let me tell you that no one will respect these hours. I am pretty sure everyone I ever met came through my room that first day at all  hours. I know you all mean well, my friends but I just pushed a baby from my body, please leave! Now I am going to give you a very valuable piece of parenting advice, if you listen to nothing else listen to this: when the nurse offers to take the baby out of your room and wake you up just for feedings the first night, for the love of god take her up on it!!! She isn't doing it to be nice, its her job. In fact if anyone, ever, offers to take the  baby and let you sleep take them up on it. I don't care if it is the in-laws or a hobo in the park, give them the baby!!! I tried to act tough, wanted to prove to myself and them that I could do this. I am and IDIOT!

Now comes the part you expected. Breast feeding every two hours (if you are lucky) all night long. Feeling like you could barf, pass out or both every minute of every day. Now I know it is cliché but the best piece of advice I can give you is to sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't worry about getting anything else done. You don't need to cook, cereal will become a main meal at this time and family will fill in the rest. If you are anything like me the house will already be very neat from all the late night cleaning sessions you had before the baby arrived so really the only reason your butt should ever leave the sofa is to pee or change the baby's diaper (even this should be passed on to others).

The other part those tricky veteran moms don't tell you is that even after your baby starts sleeping through the night (yupee!!) you still will not get any sleep. Sure Finn sleeps 10-11 hours at night but that means nothing. He is in bed by 7:30 and as much as I would like to I simply cannot fall asleep till 11 if I am lucky and then he will usually wake up once or twice a night simply to yell a few times, wake me up, then go back to sleep. I could't tell you why he does this only that I am not a fan!! Then of course he is up bright and early the next morning. Now I was never one to lounge around in bed all morning. School and my part time jobs usually required me to get up and about early enough (I had one job that started at 5am!). During this time, though I always had weekends or the occasional day off in which to sleep in. Those days are gone, and as far as I can tell they are never coming back. I have not slept in in 16 months. I am now told that I probably won't get that chance for quite a few years to come. Add a wonderful job working nights and I really do miss sleep. Just once it would be nice not to wake up in the morning to a screaming child. But alas it is not to be, at least not till he is old enough to go downstairs, turn in the TV and get himself breakfast, how old is that anyway?

The truth about dirt

As adults we spend hours trying to get rid of dirt. We sweep, mop, dust, do the laundry and wash our hands. We wage a constant battle against the stuff, sometimes we win, sometimes we loose. Now that I have a toddler I seem to loose a lot more than I win. He absolutely adores the stuff. I don't know if it's a boy thing or just a baby thing, but he can't get enough. He loves to dig in it, feel the sand run between his fingers, rub it through his hair. He enjoys filling up his bucket with it (or my shoe), he enjoys digging holes and splashing in the mud. At the end of most days his cloths are so dirty I can't distinguish what colour they  originally were. His favourite thing about dirt though, is eating it. I don't know what it is about the stuff that makes it look so damn tasty but he can't get enough. We'll be working in the garden and before I know it he will have shoved a handful in his mouth. The worst part is, he seems to enjoy the taste, even going back for seconds if he has the chance. I just hope that eating dirt has no long term side effects, its suppose to build up the immune system right? If thats the case then Finn should be free from colds this winter. I understand that babies explore the world through taste, but can't he be satisfied with just one bite?

MISSING: friends, reward for their safe return

I recently got a new cell phone plan. Unlimited calling to ten ''friends.'' I thought this was a great deal, until I sat down to write out my list and realized I could not come up with ten people that I would call. I must say that this made me feel rather pathetic. Now I was never miss popular in high school, but I did have lots of friends... I swear I did. If you look through my old albums and year books you can see me there pictured  with them. I have fond memories of these illusive friends. The question is where did they all go? Sure I have a die hard friend or two that managed to stick it out, but the others seem to have disappeared into thin air. Scattered from northern Alberta, to Winnipeg to Moncton. Employed in a number of things far to glamorous for this simple mom, and I must say I miss them. I miss the girl I have been friends with since kindergarten who has faded into a life I can't begin to understand. I miss one of my best friends who I lost touch with in college after a nasty roommate experience (I believe that lacrosse equipment may have been involved) and I even miss the ex-boyfriend who abandoned me shortly before prom. To most people high-school was the worst time of their lives, full of bullies and finals. I, however, loved it. I would give anything  to go back to those carefree days. I find myself now unable to connect with others my own age, since we are in such a vastly different places in our lives since I had the baby, yet unable to identify with other moms of young children who tend to be five or ten years my senior. True I did choose to become a mom at a young age and my dear son is definitely worth sacrificing these friends over I just think it would be nice to have a few extra numbers on my ten favourite numbers list.

Intro

Well here it is. Yet another parenting blog. Oh I know I join the ranks of thousands of others, from scary mommy's to bad dads. However, whether I end up with 2000 readers or 2 (I hope to at least convince my mom and husband to read) it really doesn't matter. I am doing this for me, and it is about damn time! I have been having a hard time lately, stuck in a job I absolutely hate, desperate for some reprieve. But what to do? What am I passionate about? What could I be doing with my life that would give me some purpose? Before the baby and had lots of hobbies. I used to play rugby. I can't do that now though, to much risk of getting hurt. I used to highland dance. The long drive to lessons and even longer one to competitions seems very impractical. Who has the time? I love to cook, but without a culinary degree I really can't hope for much more than a line cook at some chain restaurant. Finally it hit me. I love to read and write. It doesn't cost anything, can be done in my (limited) spare time and sure it probably won't make me the big bucks but I will start at the beginning and see where it takes me, you never know! I plan to try my hand at different kind of writing, newspaper articles maybe, I would love to write a novel one day and this blog. I have decided to call this blog the World According to Finnegan. For those of you who may not know Finnegan is my one year old son who never seizes to amaze me and will be the inspiration behind much of this blog. Finally the World According to Garp by John Irving is my favourite novel and is an example to the literary excellence I hope to one day achieve. So read and enjoy!